Funk

Who's in a funk?? Oh oh oh, I know the answer to this one! It's ME! Should I be in a funk? No, not really because I am a beloved child of God and He thinks I'm wonderful! This is enough, right? It is enough, but I'm still in a funk.

The last couple of weeks have been strange, to say the least. As with anyone's life, they have been filled with a lot of ups and downs. Sadly, the last two weeks have been more down than up.

I lost my job 2 weeks ago. I couldn't talk to my husband because he was out in the field and didn't have cell phone coverage. When I finally got to talk to him, we got in a little tiff because he just didn't believe I was telling him the whole truth about what happened at work. He kept saying, "there had to be something else." "Yeah," I said, "you would think, but that's all there is." *sigh* So, instead of taking into consideration how I feel about losing my job, he made me feel bad about it all. He was trying to make me get riled up so I would retaliate, but that's just not the way I do things. Of course I'm upset about what happened but there's nothing to be gained by fighting it or our fighting about it! I do know that I've prayed about two different jobs because I wasn't happy, and it wasn't long after that that I lost both jobs. (By lost, I, of course, mean I was let go.)

Then, during the last couple of weeks, James & I realize just how poor our communication has gotten. We both know now important it is to talk to each other - really talk to each other - but it's just not happening. I've tried to take the tears and sow Seeds with them. We do seem to have had a breakthrough, even if it's just the realization that there's a problem we need to address. He was able to come home last weekend and we had a good time with each other. There wasn't the awkwardness that there has been (but more tears were shed). I lift our marriage up to the Almighty Father and know that He will work miracles with us both.

Looking on the job front has been really slow. I've applied for so many jobs, and I haven't heard back on any of them (well, except the one person who contacted me about my seemingly spotty work history). I need to work and I'm not too proud to work wherever I need to work! I keep praying about that as well.

The girls started school this week, which was good and bad. Bad because that means we've had to shop for back to school clothes and supplies. Good news is that their dad was able to send a little bit of money (he's not working either) to help out and both girls have been great about being frugal and understanding. It's only been two days but they both seem happy about their schedules and teachers. Their both gone tonight, leaving me here all alone and all bored!

Other cool things that have happened in the past couple of weeks - Beth Moore simulcast! WOW is about all I can say. I was blown away at the concept of 70,000 women (and some men) singing and praying the same songs and prayers at the same time and these women were all over the country and spread out in 4 countries! We had 10 ladies from our church at the simulcast. I wish more could have come from our church, but was thrilled with the ladies who did come (especially my Mom!). Mom fell in love with Beth's sense of humor. I knew she would!

The Siesta Fiesta is only 2 weeks away! This time in 2 weeks I'll be at the Alamodome with my fellow Siestas (and a Miesta or two). I'm so grateful I had already paid for my hotel and airline tickets, or I wouldn't have been able to go. My husband was concerned that I wouldn't have time to do much sight seeing, and while that would be great, I'm there for Siesta Fiesta!!! That will be quite enough seeing for me!!!

Here's a picture of something too cute for words! Maggie tore her bed up, but I salvaged the pillow from it. She'd rather be asleep on my bed, but that's a no-no! Awwwww isn't she adorable??

I should get up from the couch and clean. I need to get my attitude right though - all for His glory!! (I'm not there but I'm closer now that I've written all of this down.)

I pulled out my notecards that I have been dragging around with me and haven't been praying over. Allow me to share this one that I need to mediate on:

God, I am so thankful there is now no condemnation for those who are Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). If you, Lord, don't condemn me, I have no right nor place to condemn myself. Help me not to get caught up in a defeating cycle of self-condemnation.

Lord, what you command me to do is not too difficult for me or beyond my reach (Deut. 30:11).

Thank you, Lord, for the grace you have given me. I love you so.