I started out the day just knowing I was going to blog. I had a blog in mind; all I had to do was just write it. I've been on the computer 3/4 of today ~ I had the time. But, the blog I'm writing now is not the one I had in mind. It's been a weird day for me. Has it been for you too?
For some reason, it hit me today that I'm just lonely. And finally vocalizing that just made me really sad. Then, you gotta know what happened next...Oh, yes, pity and self-doubt. I'm sure I make a great target for satan. I just give him so much material to use.
Let's dig into the married/lonely part for a few. So, I'm married woman. I'm on my third marriage...for some reason, each husband has had to travel extensively for job/career. Is it me?? The schedule James is having to keep right now is making communication very difficult. Not only is finding time difficult, but I'm finding myself so darn insecure about us too. Being insecure makes me question everything and I can't stand that! UGH! When did I turn into THAT person? So I am NOT going to be that person!
How do I not be her, though? Well, most importantly I remember that God makes everything wonderful and He made me...that makes me wonderful. He knows the plans He's made for me. And as basic as this promise is - it's the best one I remembered - Jesus loves me! Yes, even me. Such a lowly and unworthy sinner who only by the perfect love of Jesus taking my sin on the cross - in His death and resurrection - am I able to claim the promises of my God as my own. All the seeds He keeps tossing at me, I keep watering with my tears. But, for HIS glory, and HIS glory alone, will those seeds flourish into something beautiful and fruitful.
In all that I do, I will do for my Lord - whether it's keeping a calm attitude when my almost 16 yo daughter is driving or driving in traffic; not having "what if" thoughts when I don't hear from James; using my time wisely at home and at work; trying to keep a house that is pleasing to God and won't embarrass me or anyone else; leading a bible study group; attending church and church activities; with all that I am and all that I have - I want to be pleasing to the Lord.
Colossians 3:17 says: "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." YES!
Earlier today when I was giving satan all sorts of ammunition to use, I should have listened to Voice of Truth from the Casting Crowns. It usually tears me up (in a positive way) and it would've been a good time tearing up today.
What I don't understand is why all these truths won't stick in my head and hide in my heart? Why does seem I have to relearn this every day?? His mercies are new every morning - does my mind think it has to renew every morning too?
Ok well the day didn't stay blecky. I had a Mommy / Kristen time. We went to eat at Moe's (WELCOME TO MOEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!), walked around Hobby Lobby and had alot of fun taking pictures with the props (errrr...inventory), and had a root beer float to support Juvenile Diabetes (Hope Floats it was called at Fresh Market).
I saw this hilariously funny video on Mercy Me's website (thank you Boomama!), and I can't help but think "Do they know they are famous?" Seriously, I didn't think famous folks acted as silly as they do on that video and you know what? I LOVE it! It helps me remember that although they are famous, they are still just peeps, just like I'm a peep. We're all God's peeps! I can't figure out how to get the video embedded in here - the codes just didn't want to work for me but I do have a link to their blog in my blog list thingy over to the right.
So that's been my day in a small nutshell. I'm glad I don't have a lot of days like today *shew*.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer. 29:11