How have I gotten here? What has made me decide to go? What happened? These are all the questions I hope to be able to answer about the decision to travel to India in November.
Several months ago, I participated in a missions meeting at church. The hosts (Mike & Mary Wagner from e3 partners) showed clips of trips to Rwanda and India. I thought I might like to go on a trip one day but then I found out the costs....
I sorta put it out of my mind for this year because we didn't know what the Army had planned for James, but it looked like he would be going back to Kuwait. I would need my time off to spend with him.
When Meagan was getting ready to leave for Costa Rica, I made the comment that I just couldn't imagine going on a trip because, quite honestly, I don't like to be uncomfortable AT ALL. I'm guessing the seeds were being planted a little deeper or maybe starting to sprout.
Not long after that, I went online and started looking at the information for going on the India trip. India?? Seriously, I'm still in shock. (As I'm coming back to this post that I started months ago, I'm now only days (5) away from going. Just in case you're wondering, I'm still in shock that I'm going to India.) During our Esther study, one of the take away points was to do what God asks you to do but let Him do the how of it. While I didn't see the what or how or anything else of the trip to India, I knew He was in control and I knew He wanted me to GO.
I didn't know if this was the particular trip He meant for me to go on but I knew I had to be faithful and start the process. I started by talking to James. By now we were pretty certain he wasn't going to Kuwait and I would have the vacation time available. However, would I be able to even get off work? Just because I had the vacation time didn't mean I would be allowed to take it all the same time. God is in control and the time off was approved. My application was accepted. I was on my way to faithfully preparing to go on a short-term mission trip to India.
There are alot of things to do when you're planning a short term mission trip to another country. There is so much information to take in, review, study, know, read, talk about, etc. Maybe they don't tell you how much you have to know before you sign up so you won't not sign up - you know what I mean? WOW
One of the biggest challenges for me was to ask people for money for the trip. Almost timidly I sent out request letters. I talked about it to people. I posted things online. Always trusting God for the provisions but not quite sure how it was all going to work out. I had heard multiple times that if God wants you to GO, then He will provide the funds. I guess I expected Him to just provide the funds with little to no effort on my part.
I believe what God wanted was for me to humble myself for His kingdom work. Sure, I was humble about going on over to India and helping a lost people group hear about Jesus. But, was I humble enough to admit raising funds for the trip was about allowing God to work through His people for Him and not for me. This is a hard one to explain. With a servant's heart, I finally accepted that I couldn't control what people were going to give or even if they would give. I couldn't control when they gave. I could only do what God told me to do. It was up to Him to take care of the how. When I surrendered this control and worry, the funds came. Not only did the funds come, but more than enough funds to cover my trip came. The extra funds are being used as needed for other members of the team.
I never doubted God would provide the funds. I just didn't think it would be such a learning process for me. I didn't think the fund raising part would be the area that would really stretch me. (Of course, I haven't gone yet - I have a feeling the real stretching is yet to be seen.)
Sitting here writing this all down, and just thinking of how God is using me, is so incredibly humbling. When I think of the pit of sin I stayed in and for how long I stayed there - I was trying to make that pit my home - and how free He has made me, I just have to PRAISE HIM. Free from the burdens of my past sin. Free to come to Him when I fall short of His glory - which is all the time. As the Casting Crowns song goes, "Who am I? That the eyes that see my sin, Would look on me with love, And watch me rise again. I am Yours." Amazing! If God can use me (and He does) then He can use anyone.
This has been an incredible learning and growing process for me. My family & I have been through one trial after another. The day my daughter said to me, "You must be doing a good job preparing for India because Satan really doesn't want you to go." I knew God was working through us all. Confirmation from your children is a huge sign.
I've had some people say they wish they had the courage to go. Or even the want to go. All I know is that if God says to go, and you respond to His call, He will make it all work. It doesn't mean it will be easy. But if it was all easy, would He get the glory?? If you don't have the desire to go, then it's quite possible He's not calling you to go! He calls us all to do different things for His kingdom. I have had a wonderful team of prayer warriors. A slew of people who donated financially. Many people who have given emotional support. My small group and Sunday school class who have lived this trip through me. They've watched me ponder about going, and all the steps in between.
Am I ready for the trip? Probably not. I imagine I'll still be packing up and preparing until it's time to walk out the door. Is God ready for me to go on the trip? YES! When I went to Him with my doubts, He very lovingly told me (in my spirit) He intended for me to go and He loves me so.
It's taken me months to write this post. It's been weird for me to have a story to tell but not have the words to say it. I've waited for Him to say "it's time". So, finally, it's time. This is just the tip of the journey and the start of my leap of faith. I can't wait to share with you about the experiences we had and about the miracles God performed. Can you stand it?? PRAISE YOU!
Thank you for being a part of this journey with me. I can't wait to talk to you when I return!
I sorta put it out of my mind for this year because we didn't know what the Army had planned for James, but it looked like he would be going back to Kuwait. I would need my time off to spend with him.
When Meagan was getting ready to leave for Costa Rica, I made the comment that I just couldn't imagine going on a trip because, quite honestly, I don't like to be uncomfortable AT ALL. I'm guessing the seeds were being planted a little deeper or maybe starting to sprout.
Not long after that, I went online and started looking at the information for going on the India trip. India?? Seriously, I'm still in shock. (As I'm coming back to this post that I started months ago, I'm now only days (5) away from going. Just in case you're wondering, I'm still in shock that I'm going to India.) During our Esther study, one of the take away points was to do what God asks you to do but let Him do the how of it. While I didn't see the what or how or anything else of the trip to India, I knew He was in control and I knew He wanted me to GO.
I didn't know if this was the particular trip He meant for me to go on but I knew I had to be faithful and start the process. I started by talking to James. By now we were pretty certain he wasn't going to Kuwait and I would have the vacation time available. However, would I be able to even get off work? Just because I had the vacation time didn't mean I would be allowed to take it all the same time. God is in control and the time off was approved. My application was accepted. I was on my way to faithfully preparing to go on a short-term mission trip to India.
There are alot of things to do when you're planning a short term mission trip to another country. There is so much information to take in, review, study, know, read, talk about, etc. Maybe they don't tell you how much you have to know before you sign up so you won't not sign up - you know what I mean? WOW
One of the biggest challenges for me was to ask people for money for the trip. Almost timidly I sent out request letters. I talked about it to people. I posted things online. Always trusting God for the provisions but not quite sure how it was all going to work out. I had heard multiple times that if God wants you to GO, then He will provide the funds. I guess I expected Him to just provide the funds with little to no effort on my part.
I believe what God wanted was for me to humble myself for His kingdom work. Sure, I was humble about going on over to India and helping a lost people group hear about Jesus. But, was I humble enough to admit raising funds for the trip was about allowing God to work through His people for Him and not for me. This is a hard one to explain. With a servant's heart, I finally accepted that I couldn't control what people were going to give or even if they would give. I couldn't control when they gave. I could only do what God told me to do. It was up to Him to take care of the how. When I surrendered this control and worry, the funds came. Not only did the funds come, but more than enough funds to cover my trip came. The extra funds are being used as needed for other members of the team.
I never doubted God would provide the funds. I just didn't think it would be such a learning process for me. I didn't think the fund raising part would be the area that would really stretch me. (Of course, I haven't gone yet - I have a feeling the real stretching is yet to be seen.)
Sitting here writing this all down, and just thinking of how God is using me, is so incredibly humbling. When I think of the pit of sin I stayed in and for how long I stayed there - I was trying to make that pit my home - and how free He has made me, I just have to PRAISE HIM. Free from the burdens of my past sin. Free to come to Him when I fall short of His glory - which is all the time. As the Casting Crowns song goes, "Who am I? That the eyes that see my sin, Would look on me with love, And watch me rise again. I am Yours." Amazing! If God can use me (and He does) then He can use anyone.
This has been an incredible learning and growing process for me. My family & I have been through one trial after another. The day my daughter said to me, "You must be doing a good job preparing for India because Satan really doesn't want you to go." I knew God was working through us all. Confirmation from your children is a huge sign.
I've had some people say they wish they had the courage to go. Or even the want to go. All I know is that if God says to go, and you respond to His call, He will make it all work. It doesn't mean it will be easy. But if it was all easy, would He get the glory?? If you don't have the desire to go, then it's quite possible He's not calling you to go! He calls us all to do different things for His kingdom. I have had a wonderful team of prayer warriors. A slew of people who donated financially. Many people who have given emotional support. My small group and Sunday school class who have lived this trip through me. They've watched me ponder about going, and all the steps in between.
Am I ready for the trip? Probably not. I imagine I'll still be packing up and preparing until it's time to walk out the door. Is God ready for me to go on the trip? YES! When I went to Him with my doubts, He very lovingly told me (in my spirit) He intended for me to go and He loves me so.
It's taken me months to write this post. It's been weird for me to have a story to tell but not have the words to say it. I've waited for Him to say "it's time". So, finally, it's time. This is just the tip of the journey and the start of my leap of faith. I can't wait to share with you about the experiences we had and about the miracles God performed. Can you stand it?? PRAISE YOU!
Thank you for being a part of this journey with me. I can't wait to talk to you when I return!
2 comments:
Wow.
Can't wait to hear "the rest of the story."
Wow, I admire your leap of faith. Thanks for sharing this with us. I will be praying for you while you are gone. All the people I've heard who went to India return not the same person. It's so wonderful to be in the will of God. God bless!!
@charwalt
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